How To Assess Your Relationship

So, the dreamy “honeymoon stage” is over, sex is dwindling and there’s no such thing as holding hands anymore.



The two of you may still be together because it’s comfortable or, it’s just easier than breaking up. And that is sad.

Well either way, it’s time to assess your relationship. With these helpful tips, you’ll be able to figure out perhaps what to do.


Picture the future.

Look three years or even just six months into the future. Picture where you’re at, at that point in time. Now look  beside you, is that person still there with you? Does he/she fit into your future?

Maybe you’re going off to college, or a dream job in another city — is a long distance relationship okay with you? Or perhaps you want to start a family and have kids and he is still too immature to be the father of your child.

So picture what you want in the future, and ask yourself — is that person there with you?


Heart to heart.

If you’re constantly (in your mind), questioning everything about your relationship, then it’s time for a little heart to heart talk. Both of you can’t read minds, so you need to talk.


  • Do you see us together?
  • Do you want to still be with me for the years to come?
  • How do you feel about us?

Communication is the key and it’s the only way you’re going to figure out what both of you are really feeling.


:) vs. :( . (Happiness vs Sadness)

Are you questioning whether or not you two, are good together? Does he/she treat you well?

Best solution: bring out a calendar and, at the end of each day, draw a smiley face or a sad face depending how your significant other made you feel that day.

When you’re in a relationship, your partner should make you happy more, rather than sad, annoyed or angry. So at the end of the month, compare happy days to sad days.

Remember, everyone deserves someone that can bring sunshine to their day.


Spend time apart.

It’s easier to realize whether or not you need your significant other in your life if he is not constantly with you. So spend a week or two apart and ask yourself:

  • do you miss him/her?
  • Do you think about that person a lot?
  • Are you able to get through the day without him/her?
  • Taking a break can really put things in perspective and help you realize if this person is a necessary in your life.


Pros vs. cons.

Make a list and write down everything good and bad about your partner.  Write down things you wish he/she would do for you or things you wish they didn’t do. Write down what you like and what you don’t like about the relationship. Then weigh the pros and cons.

Check: is there more pros than cons? Or the other way around?



After doing these steps, you should have an inkling to either rekindle the romance or break it off and move on with your life. Because, sometimes, sadly, we end up with the wrong person and they hold us back. :(

Dean Castro

About Dean Castro

A depressed call center agent by day, happy writer by night. Who knew?

More Posts

Related posts:

  1. 11 Relationship Building Tips for the Holidays
  2. Man-Guide: how to survive a relationship.