How to Save Millions of Dollars

People told me to save.

When my wife got pregnant, everybody told me to start saving. In fact, my mother alone called and gave me an earful about saving. Save? I’ve never done that before. How, oh how do I even start.

Quick search — Yahoo news, “How to save millions of dollars!”

Save millions of dollars? Wow! This must be good — click.

 

- It says right here that the $5 coffee I spend each day on Starbucks alone would’ve been $36,000 in 20 years, and $53,000 in 30 years. Wow! That’s a lot of money!

So I brew my own coffee, but I drink five to seven cups a day. So if I cut coffee out, I’d have down payment for a house in 20 years? But I need coffee. When I sit my ass to write, coffee makes me function, turns on my brain to make me write stuff. Can I survive without it? Okay, it says so in yahoo news, it must be true. Moving on.

 

- Second part, clothes. The money we use for clothes in our lives could have been fat savings in our banks instead.

There you go, I’m totally convinced. I’ve just undressed right now, I’m in my underwear in front of the computer. Yes, I am!

 

- Third, unnecessary substances like beer, chips, juice, soda we spent for, would’ve paid for your child’s college.

I’m sold! Cut out all the — wait! I can’t live without beer! Ouch! What do I do? What do I do? I want to save for my son’s college but otherwise — I love beer too. What to do, what to do… Put this on hold for now, I’ll grab a six-pack later and decide what I love more — beer or my son’s college.

 

- Fourth, shopping. Cut out all the luxuries. Serious shopaholics spends millions in a lifetime (or at least, in debt).

Hear that, wifey?

Kidding, kidding. My wife ain’t much of a shopper. Phew.

 

- Fifth, other luxuries like cable, TV,  internet, cellphones. If you can live without them, why not? Man survived tens of thousands of years without those luxuries, no reason why we can’t now.

Yep! I definitely agree! Throw away all the — Wait! I earn my income online. But it says right here, the hundreds of dollars I spend on bills for cable, cellphone, internet, etc., would ensure my retirement! O-kaayy… Do I retire now?

 

- Sixth, food. Man survived on bare necessities, food is nourishment, not enjoyment. No reason to spend on gourmets like fillets, pastas, pork, beef, or worst — fastfoods!

Okay, ramen it is. Cup noodles for the rest of my life!

Cool! If I follow those advice closely, I’d be a millionaire! I’m all set for life! This is what it takes to get rich! Easy!

 



 

Dave

About Dave

You've been had. You've been blind. You've been asleep. You've been bound. You are a prisoner. Now wake up! Smell freedom! Engulf yourself in the beauty of nature! Be free! For the first time, stop listening to others and DO WHAT YOU WANT! Be free, my friend. Soar and be free.

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