I Hate Cleaning. Don’t We All?

Cleaning is an unpleasant (but necessary) activity that we make up a million excuses to avoid doing it.

Like my mother before me, I absolutely hate cleaning.

I can plan, sort and redesign with the best of them, but when it comes to dusting, sweeping, mopping and scrubbing, I have an inner switch which is permanently on ‘off.’

Fortunately, I am something of a clean freak, and so somewhere between my dislike of cleaning and fetish for cleanliness there exists a no-mans-land of a very bossy woman shouting: “You’re cleaning today whether you want to or not; crank up the radio and move it!”

 

My mother had it all worked out. She hated cleaning so much she did my father’s finances and used some money to hire a cleaner. When I clean, I hate it so much the tree tends to grow branches. I’ll explain what I mean.

Today was THE day. I could not put it off one more day. There was dog hair all over the floor, furniture and various blankets. This sounds gross even to me and I love the animal. The dust bunnies under my bed have had babies, probably grandchildren, and it’s a wonder I can breathe when sleeping anymore. My precious books are covered in dust, which is really shameful, and on closer inspection I’m not sure how I could even view the television.

 

I hate cleaning so much I have little strategies to help me survive the ordeal.

The first one is rearranging everything in the entire house, which doesn’t sound like much, but you should see what I’ve got packed into this place. It’s kind of like musical chairs but more fun.

 

Today I used another strategy as I dusted. What are the most precious possessions I own? What would I take with me if only a few items were possible? Well, number one would be ‘little toaster’ for sure. Little toaster was a toy of my son’s. I purchased it at a local gift store and still think it’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. Made out of wood completely, when you press the two handles on the side, out pops the toast! The toast is browned and so lifelike it is surreal. The child has outgrown the toy, but I always tell the children, wherever I go, little toaster is going.

 

Something else precious to me would be two of my daughter’s wisdom teeth, which leave no doubt as to her Transylvanian heritage (they are freaky). I saved every one of my two children’s teeth and would like to have them made into a necklace some day, with the wisdom teeth as earrings. My husband thinks I’m very strange, but he doesn’t have my great vantage point.

 

Another thing I really appreciate is a mug with ‘Made in China’ on the bottom. It is white with a simple circle in the prettiest blue around the top, and in that same pretty blue it says on the mug: ‘Best Mom Ever!’ How cool is that?

 

I have some lovely pieces of art, but if I had to choose, I would take the photographs – all of them, for each tell a story. Speaking of stories, books are precious to me, my own copies of books, which I can mark and return to again and again. In the end, there’s not very much I would take with me at all…

 

In fact, this got me thinking I have way too much stuff never used. Someone could be making use of it instead of stuck in my closets. Enter three garbage bags. The entire house is taken apart, I’m checking, rearranging, and getting rid of things I don’t need, and why? Because all this activity is sidetracking me beautifully from doing what I’m supposed to be doing, cleaning! I finish at 11.30 p.m. at night, moaning as to why cleaning takes me so long.

I guess you know why!

stella

About stella

Stella is an aspiring writer. A mom working a fulltime job, but still finds time to write. Update: I'm unemployed right now, taking a break. Spending a lot of time with my loving family. I'm so happy.

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