I Worked Hard… Then Lost My Wallet.
|November 3, 2011||Posted by Dean Castro under Real Life|
I worked hard, saved up to buy my honey the sweetest gift. But all fates rained down on me when I lost my wallet.
I was 16. I was broke. My only source of income was from my parent’s school allowance.
16 is fun. I had my first girlfriend. Being new to it all, being a rookie, I decided to take a summer job to get cash for her birthday. Viva McDonalds! I didn’t mind the cooking, scrubbing, cleaning, serving—as long as I could be “the man.” The man to impress her with an expensive gift.
The day before the birthday. The universe really wanted to show how much it hated me when—would you believe?—I lost my wallet.
Yup, two months of scrubbing, cleaning, sucking up to my manager, cleaning up customer’s crap, and 500 bucks later—all gone.
Crap! This was the lousiest day of my life.
The birthday came up, I had nothing. I was on the way to her party when I passed by a small convenient store. I went it, gave an uncool, nervous wrecked version of Danny Ocean and swiped a birthday card.
How the hell can they make stealing millions of dollars look so cool in the movies when it’s scary as hell stealing a cheap birthday card in real life?
Sweat dripping down my forehead, I gave a big sigh of relief when I made it out the store.
I got to the party, everyone was staring at me. Why are they staring at me?
“Here comes the boyfriend,” they must think. “He gotta have a nice gift,” they must think.
Nope. All I got is this lousy birthday card.
I couldn’t let anybody see me giving this cheap crappy card. What to do?
Last ditch gamble, I pulled my sweety aside and asked to talk privately.
“I got you the most expensive gift,” I bluffed.
“Really?” She got all excited.
Her eyes stared blankly in confusion. Looked closely at the birthday card.
“I don’t get it. It seems ordinary enough, it doesn’t even have a dedication.”
Oops, I even forgot to write down her name and a dedication.
“I stole it,” I said.
There, her eyes shifted from confusion to crazy look. “What!”
“I lost my wallet yesterday, all those hard work down the drain, I had to get you something.”
“Say what! Why’d you steal!?”
“Because… I had too…”
She calmed down a little bit. A bit of understanding pieced together on her head.
“Couldn’t you just have said you lost your wallet? You didn’t have to steal.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry.”
“OK, fine. I understand a little bit. But wow, you really got me excited there when you said you got me the most expensive gift.”
“It still probably is.” I muttered.
“Huh?” She stared confused again.
“How much does bail cost these days if I got caught? $500?”
She smiled a bit. “Honey, you’re cute. But if you call me for bail money… I’m breaking up with you.”
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