I’m In Love With my Boss… But He Broke my Heart.

I am so in love with my boss. There, I said it. But he broke my heart!



When I finally had the courage to quit my former, depressing job — I pursued what I really wanted to do — writing.

So lucky we live in today’s world — today’s world of massive networking and freelancing. I started doing freelance writing — And I sucked at it. And the pay was so low, like $1 per article. But I didn’t mind, I loved writing. Every time I’m not in my laptop doing freelance writing, you know what I did? I opened my journal and wrote some more. :)


Yes, I love writing, blah blah, I’m boring you already. Moving on.

By the way, I started terrible at it, but I eventually upgraded my writing skills to “so-so” :)


But back in the days, when I was still writing horrible stuff, there was this one client that stuck with me. All other clients burned their eyes when they read my articles, but one stayed. One client (or boss) stayed with each agonizing words.

He stayed… and suffered, and I didn’t know why.


But then again, no martyrs left in this world, he eventually fired me. BUT! He hired me as his personal virtual assistant!

You might need more practice with articles but I do need a personal virtual assistant. Are you in?”


He’s not fooling anyone with “you might need more practice with writing” BS — what he meant was “You suck at it, but lucky for you I need an assistant…”


“I’m in!” I said.


He runs this trucking company in San Francisco, California. And things got rough (so he says) when the market crashed, he couldn’t afford a “Real” secretary anymore — he needed to outsource (lucky me, yay!).


Years went by, I did my six hours a day “assisting” for him. So I spend hours per day in a nearby starbucks. To the point I’ve gotten close with the baristas — to the point where I get free wifi! I swear to God, I’m not taking advantage of the baristas… BUT A GIRL NEEDS HER WIFI. :)


Everyday, I always meet with Estrella, my best friend. She dropped by the cafe after work (we’re neighbors), we’d chat as I wrote some articles, and she’d always ask about my mysterious boss — who I never even met!

I saw a rusty picture of him in his company website, but that was it! I would always joke at him how “he’s the only primate in the world without a Facebook account.” Yes, we’ve gotten pretty close. And he’d always say how “social networking is just a fad.”


So all I had was this blurry, old picture back in his college days. He had a goatee and mushy long hair. He was in a band back in college, he was a guitarist — he was a rocker! That only turned on a girl even more (me).

He always does look at my pictures in Facebook, though. And he complements me a lot — I’d always feel like a little girl turned putty whenever he complemented me.


One day, when Estrella and I were in the cafe, I felt a soft tap on my shoulders. A young “mestizo” behind me said,“Hi! I hope I’m not interrupting, but I notice you’re always here. Mind if I chat with you for a while?”


“Yes, I do mind actually. Sorry.”


Estrella’s eyes turned furious red as the guy walked away, slumped. “Are you freaking crazy, Andrea!?! That guy was cute!”

First of all, she’s not fooling anybody with “freaking” — I know what she really meant.

“Uhh, you know I like my boss, Estrella.”

“There you go! That boss, that boss! That mystical boss you’re never gonna meet! We don’t even know! He could be married! He could be happily married with five kids!”


First of all, Estrella, he’s the same age as us, 28. It is highly unlikely he’d have five kids at the moment… Maybe just three?” I joked. This made Estrella a lot more angrier. I do like to annoy my bestfriend… a lot. What are friends for?


“You need to wake up to reality, Andrea! Life is passing by your very eyes! You are too consumed with that fantasy about a boss 10,000 miles away!”


I don’t care. He’s deep, he’s thoughtful, we chat everyday. I got to know him pretty well, he talks to me about everything. We’ve gotten close… Well, I do need more pics of him — he’s got issues with photographs but that’s okay. I talk to him everyday, I know him on the inside and he talks about pretty deep stuff, Estrella. He’s the most thoughtful, smartest guy I know. Maybe I could wait for him… I’m allowed to live in my fantasy.”

And I added, “And! He told me he’s not married. He broke up with his girlfriend a year ago! Yippee!”


You’re nuts, Andrea. If only you could hear yourself talk…”

“Well, that’s why we’re friends aren’t we? We’re a little nuts together.” Then we’d laugh. No matter how Estrella and I fought, we’d always end up laughing. Thanks for sticking out to be my friend, Estrella. I know it’s hard sticking with “nutty” people.


The next day, there he was again, the good-looking-English-speaking mestizo (Estrella had a crush on). He was smiling, he tried making eye-contact a bunch of times, but as “true supladas” go, I truly and completely ignored him.

Harsh? Nope, I was depressed. There was a crisis in my boss’ company, a few drivers were out, he had to substitute in the front end. I don’t see him often those days, I only get emails from him. “Good job today, Andrea!”

Thanks boss! I love you too!”

I didn’t say “I love you” of course. I just said “thanks.” I did think about loving him though.


For what’s it’s worth, Estrella was all smiles when she came in. “How’s your handsome admirer today?”

Oh, he’s here everyday now… Always saying hi, always trying to strike a conversation. I think he’s a stalker…”


Are you still ignoring him? You’re crazy, Andrea. This is a wake up call from God… Stop living in a fantasy and see the reality in front of you!”

“I know you like him. You can have him if you want.” I’d joke with Estrella.

If only I had your looks, Andrea… I wouldn’t waste it.”

Well, you got better grades back in school… so you have the brains, I have the looks — we’re complete together!” I always wanted to annoy her, it’s the highlight of my day.


You suck, Andrea.”

“I know, I know. “We both suck.”


I felt that unmistakable tap again. What is it this time? This is really getting annoying.


Handsome-English-speaking-stalker would say, “I’m sorry, but I don’t see you with anyone and you don’t have a wedding ring… are you really seeing anyone?”

“Yes!I told you! I’m sorry.”



He went away. Slumped. Like a little boy losing his first balloon.

Did I hurt his feelings, Estrella? He looked sad.”


What do you think, stupid? He was here for days just to meet you. I don’t know what he sees in you, but if it were me, I’d marry him!”

“Well… you do that. Let me get back to work.”


“Right back at ya, besty”




The very next day, I snooped around before I went in the cafe. Oh good, no good-looking-English-speaking-stalker today.


Jun-jun, the barista, was waiting for me at my usual table. He had a huge grin on his face, he was holding a bouquet of roses and a mocha frappuccino (my favorite).

What!?” I asked.


“Good looking mestizo left this for you.” Roses and coffee. There was a note on the roses.


Dear Andrea,

You looked even more beautiful in real life. I’ve always liked you, you were always so smart, so witty. These past two years, I was so busy, you were my friend/assistant. In fact, I’ve completely forgotten about my social life… you were my only friend! How weird is that. I need a life.

Anyway, I always wondered what you were like in person… So what the hell, as you know, my mom is Filipina, I took advantage of that. I flew to Manila, had my relatives drive me to the starbucks you always told me you hang out everyday, and took a chance.

I’m so sorry. You didn’t tell me you were in a relationship. I didn’t mean to offend, I should have known you were already happy here. But I just… wanted to meet you.

I know, sounds desperate, huh? But I’m not. It was worth seeing you. You are beautiful and it was an adventure flying in the Philippines for the first time. I hope you live a happy life.


Jonathan Hawksten



That was him! That was really him! Oh my God! How could I have not known! But… he had short hair and was clean shaven. I always thought he was this rugged rockstar guitarist…

I am so stupid! That was his college picture! Of course he has that “clean look” now, he runs a business!


Oh… my… God. Wait! Please wait!” I e-mailed him. “Please wait! Why didn’t you introduce yourself?!? Why didn’t you say anything! You should have said something! You should have introduced yourself!”

No answer. I had a feeling our contract was over. I had a feeling I wasn’t his little “virtual assistant” anymore.


I cried. I was still crying when Estrella came in. A dear friend Estrella was, she hugged me all the way.

I’m sorry to tell you this, Andrea, but HE did try to introduce himself a bunch of times… He really did…”

“I know… that’s why it hurts more…”


One good thing came out of it. The baristas felt so bad for me, coffee was free that day.


Months passed. I still e-mailed him everyday… every single day. No response. It went to a point where I became angry — just so angry. I shifted the blame on him, “It’s your fault! It’s really your fault! If you would’ve just told me your name back then… everything would’ve been okay!”

Angry e-mails went on for months. I kept blaming him… but I know it was my fault. I still hear Estrella’s screams, “Wake up! Reality’s in front of you! You need to snap out of your fantasy and live in reality again!”


She was right. I always knew she was, I was just too stubborn to listen. I got so caught up within my dream world and didn’t even notice “reality” in front of me. God answered my prayers — but I screwed it up.

They were  right, they were all right… I was a dumbass.


To be continued. This went on too long, I decided to divide it in two parts. Continue to part two here.






About Andrea

An anonymous being, a writer hidden in the shadows; I come with the darkest clouds and pen darker thoughts to paper. I am the fog, the shadow, the mist. Come see me and you will never go back.

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  • Asiandomtrading


    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Douay/100002753528411 Michael Douay

      aq nlng kya ang guz2hin u?

  • Caspe_robert

    ayaw kung mangarap na maging boss mo””’baka makasakit aKO” ng damdamin ng iba”

  • Joemarlumiano12

    marami pang iba mas mahigit kay sa kanya… true.