My Neighbor just had an Abortion
|March 24, 2012||Posted by Andrea under Family, Health|
Our next door neighbor just had an abortion.
This just made me sad. As a mom to a beautiful baby princess, I’m against abortion. Period.
I saw my neighbor, Selma, on the porch, crying. I knew they were struggling the last few months (like the rest of America), but I never knew it was THAT bad.
Selma and her husband, Andrew, had been long time neighbors and close friends with my husband. I’ve only moved here in San Francisco two years ago, so I’m relatively new. But my husband, Johnathan, and next door neighbors, Selma and Andrew, go way back.
They’ve been neighbors and for 12 years. So yeah, they’ve gotten pretty close.
I myself have gotten close with them. We invite each other on holidays, birthdays, and babysit for each other. Selma (a housewife) and I spend most of our free times together. We help each other with babysitting, groceries, cooking, etc.
But I’m having a hard time looking at Selma through the window right now. I wouldn’t know what to say. I don’t condone to what she did. She’s basically fresh off from the hospital. She just had two souls aborted. Yes, she had twins.
I don’t know what to do. Should I approach her? Or not? But she looks so sad right now. She needs a friend.
As I see Selma crying in the porch, I had to go out, be a dear friend and comfort her. No matter how I think what she did was distasteful.
So I approached her, “Hi Selma. How are you doing?”
She looked at me sobbing, “I’m guessing you’ve heard. Please don’t judge me.”
“I did. And I’m not.” I was basically lying. I did not like what she did.
“Why?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“Because… Andrew is in jail.”
“What! Wait! What happened?”
Apparently, I was the only one not in the loop. My husband knew how deep they were in for months (he didn’t want me to worry. He knew how close I’ve gotten with them) and has been helping them with whatever he can.
Relatively young couple (in their 30s), Selma and Andrew have four toddlers. And it all started when they discovered Selma had imbalanced hormones. They tried and tried, but they could not produce kids. Being of Mexican heritage, Andrew and Selma wanted a big family. They were devastated. After all, they want to have at least five kids.
So they did what any other couple with hormonal problems do… took loads of fertility drugs.
And it worked! After 18 months of fertility drugs, they had triplets! Bundles of joy… literally!
They were amazed, they were content, they were thankful. Selma stopped with the fertility drugs of course. But as the doctor’s warning with all fertility drugs goes… it has side effects. After only a year, she bore her fourth child.
There in lies the problem. They wanted lots of kids, but NOT that fast. Imagine raising four children all at once.
The first two years went fine (with gov’t benefits and all). But the third year, means they are ineligible for pension anymore. Things got hard. I am relatively new to America, so I don’t fully understand all of this.
The biggest surprise of all came a few months ago. With the side effects of the fertility drugs still going strong, Selma got pregnant again. This time twins!
So now the biggest challenge came. While Selma, having four kids to raise, stayed at home to be a full time mom, leaving the providing duties to Andrew. So Andrew began to work like a dog. That’s why I barely saw him the last couple of months. He took loads of overtime and worked 16 hours a day.
And the sad thing was, I never even knew about this. Because they were so busy, I barely saw Selma the last couple of months.
“Because,” Selma continued. “Andrew stole from work.”
“Wait, what?” I could hardly believe it. Andrew seemed nice and good-hearted.
“We are so behind the bills, they were going to repossess the house if we didn’t come up with money.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about all of this?” I asked.
“We didn’t want to involve you. Your husband knows, he’s been helping out with whatever he can.”
“So what did Andrew steal?”
“He stole a drum of recycled copper.”
A drum of recycled tin, copper, aluminum, etc. is worth thousands.
“So he got caught by a camera,” she continued. “And now he faces charges.”
I can’t blame them. They were having a rough life and I didn’t even sense it. I wish I was there the last couple of months. I wish I could have somehow shown support.
Justified or not, Andrew needed money or else they were going to lose their home.
“So what’s gonna happen now?” I asked.
“The kids are gonna stay with the grandparents until we figure out what to do.”
I held her as she continued sobbing.
She couldn’t raise two more children anymore. Her husband is in jail, about to face charges, and will probably be persecuted. So she got an abortion.
Please don’t judge her. I know it is unforgivable in Filipino culture, but abortion is customary and legal here. Everybody gets asked. When I had my first prenatal check-up, the doctor asked me what my options were. Whether I go through with it, abort the baby or have it scheduled for adoption.
This may sound harsh if you grew up in Philippine culture, but it’s only customary here. After all, what kind of hardship would you have made the child go through in life if you weren’t fit to parent a child. Much better to have it adopted, or aborted (although I am totally against abortion).
A child is precious. So precious. So beautiful. I just kissed my baby girl right now. So happy I don’t have to go through that kind of decision that Selma just had.
And I’m truly sad for it.
As I was browsing through Philippine news, (as always) there are pictures of hungry kids on the streets.
This made me wonder (and cringed). Would it had been better to have the child aborted or adopted than have them go through life picking scraps on the dumpster for food?
I sure am blessed to have been born through parents that provided me three meals a day. But imagine this, what if you were born in a poor family were you have to pick scraps or beg just to eat? Every single day, you’re fighting for hunger… for survival. Would you have wished you were never been born instead? Or have been adopted by more capable parents?
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