Christmas makes us Miserable

Holidays… That delicious turkey. We ate too much again.



Is it our fault? That delicious feast in front of us. Staring at us, mesmerizing us. We can’t resist.

Too luscious, too intoxicating — we ravage it. We defile it. We devour it like animals. We are animals! It brings out our inner animalism (while pretending to still be social beings). We eat, we talk, we socialize, we ravage — then we feel guilty.

I ate again!  Oh my gosh, the world is gonna end — We ate again! This can’t be! My figure! Nooooo!”


Come together, fellow humans, let us reflect. We, as fleshlings, need to hold each other hand in hand and think — really think. Let’s open our eyes amongst each other and release our anguish and despair. Let’s shed the disgusting fat that clumps around our necks, our waists, our thighs, and our stomachs.

Lose weight, let the world lose weight! Let us all lose weight together and free the earth from an enormous despair. We feel guilt, we feel despair, let’s relieve the world of guilt and despair. Let’s.


You, right there. Yes, you. Lose weight together with me! Don’t think for a second that you can hide it from me. I know you’re depressed. I know you can’t hide it, but I know you try. Guilt is such a depressing and lonely thing. Breathe as one and work as one, my friends. Forget your past and forget your future, for only the present is possible to experience. Don’t neglect your youth and don’t neglect your aging. Take control of your bodies and decide what goes in and what goes out.


Decide how much to shed.

Don’t settle for average, settle for better than average. Settle for better. Settle for skinniness of mind and body. Settle for fitness that can save your soul. Your body, will, of course, inevitably die. And then it will be quite skinny indeed! But forget about that for now, and only think about what you’re putting into it this very moment. Refrain from aggression, and torture, and despair, and look on to what’s good and only good, and holy and pure and sanctified and undefiled and unadulterated and clean.

Come on my brothers and sisters, let’s shed weight together.


What is Thanksgiving anyway? Thanksgiving is Christmas. It ought to be. It is exactly the same celebration, the same food, the spirit, the same gathering. They ought to call it Thanksgiving 1 and Thanksgiving 2. They are twin brothers, brothers causing guilt and despair. But we enjoy it. We are pathetic.

This coming Christmas, I’ll post this again. Change the words “Thanksgiving” to “Christmas.” Simple. They are the same. They are one. They are fun.  They are guilty pleasures. They are misery.


About Dave

You've been had. You've been blind. You've been asleep. You've been bound. You are a prisoner. Now wake up! Smell freedom! Engulf yourself in the beauty of nature! Be free! For the first time, stop listening to others and DO WHAT YOU WANT! Be free, my friend. Soar and be free.

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